An Amazing Encounter with the Lord

 

The Lord is so amazing and has been doing such a work in drawing me to Him, especially over the last several months.

I went into this weekend very intentional.  I have been pressing in on repenting, keeping my gaze on the Lord, and believing for a miracle. I told the Lord that I want to hear Him say, "Your faith has healed you!"

The Lord has been preparing me for this season for some time. I have been going through a season of seeing and repenting of my wrong focus, that I was pursuing Jesus' attributes and what He can do for me. I think we all know that feeling when someone is pursuing us for what we have to offer or what they can get from us over who we are. How icky that was for the Lord and how unfruitful that was for me. He showed me that I was averting my eyes from Him, not wanting to be seen by the God who sees me. My heart's desire has become to not let my gaze fall off of Him, and when it does that the Lord give me the knowing and discernment to recognize it and put my eyes right back on Him. He is so good! This has taken me into learning more about the "holy fear of the Lord" and becoming more broken and surrendered.

I was so thankful for the timing of the colonoscopy and diagnosis as the very next day I was attending Marilyn Howshall's Dove M.Int (Master Intensive) and the topic was "Walking in the Power of the Cross." In my mind I was planning on going for healing, but more importantly to surrender more to the Lord and to give more of myself to Him. In my minds eye the cancer was tiny compared to what I was seeking, I was no longer seeking healing 1st and foremost, I was seeking the Lord 1st and foremost. As far as healing, my heart's desire was to grow and increase in faith. I told the Lord I want to hear Him say "Your faith has healed you!" My heart's cry going into the M.Int, along with wanting more of Him and to have holy fear of Him, was to have the kind of faith that Jesus would say those words to me. Friday night Marilyn prayed for the cancer to leave my body.  The pain I was in from my esophagus, to my stomach, to my intestines calmed to almost a zero from there. Praise Jesus!

I entered the weekend seeking Jesus and Saturday was such an increased level of wanting no more of myself and wanting all of Jesus. At the ministry time I kneeled before the cross just laying my life down like I have never done before, just wanting the Lord and nothing and no one else. I was in full surrender to Jesus!

He did something and it was good. I was in awe and wonder! A friend noticed and checked in with me and I asked her over and over, "What did I come in here with?" "I came in here with something, what was it?" She didn't know that I was meaning the cancer and responded with "God is doing something, I don't know what He's doing, but it's really good!" I began to worship Jesus! I was feeling disconnected from any sickness. It was like it was there, but in the background and not prominent and I couldn't relate to or remember the cancer. This I later identified as "the middle." From there, I began to worship Jesus, and I laid down on the carpet in front of the Cross. My body was heavy and immovable with the exception of my fingers. Approximately 15-20 minutes went by and Marilyn touched me and said, "Give her her healing, Lord!"

I sat up and and could barely articulate what I was experiencing. I was able to say that the Lord did something good and that it was like "a before, a middle and an after."

I was in so much awe and wonder and I said, "Dare I say it?  -- The cancer is gone!!!"  

And I began to praise the Lord and dance around, though I was weak.

~Malachi 4:2

But unto you who revere and worshipfully fear My name 

the Sun of Righteousness will rise

with healing in His wings and His beams, 

and you shall go forth and frolic and leap with joy 

like calves released from the stall.

Marilyn encouraged me to go tell my friends and we rejoiced and celebrated.

The reports of what the other ladies witnessed were just amazing. Some saw spirit like wisps of light leaving my hands as I was praising the Lord. Another friend that was praying near me heard music (different than the worship music that was being played) and a bright light. There were reports that I glowed with the spirit and that my countenance was so different. I felt very different.  It's like there was a separation that happened, a separation between the old man and the new man.

For the rest of the night, the Lord only allowed me to be "in the present." People asked me questions and I could see the whole event in my mind, but verbally I could only share and focus on the very moment I was in.  I came home to tell my family, and I could only focus on the moment I was in with them.  The significance to that, since I was young, I lived in the past or some imagining of the future, which was often focused on the bad more than the good. 

The symptoms I have had relating to the cancer have shifted and I am believing for and watching for the steps and manifesting of my healing, which has begun.  I went into that weekend one way and came out a different way! Praise Jesus!  Jesus heals today!  He is alive and active TODAY!  Glory to God in the Highest!!!